OKAY TERRIFIC

Def: o'kay ter'ri'fic: 1.common expression of muted astonishment due to being surrounded by amazing stupidity, without quite knowing what else to say. 2.expression that usually precedes the changing of a subject brought up by an individual who is perfectly clueless to anything or anyone outside their own narcissistic corner of the universe. Origin: Unknown

Name:
Location: Bergen County, New Jersey, United States

Steven Hill is the author of the independently published A VOICE ABOVE THE DIN, available at www.lulu.com/holbrookhill, or Amazon or B&N.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Caribbean Island Getaways, Rum & Electrolux



See this photo to your right of the dolphins surfing? Pretty cool, huh? I forgot who sent it to me, but kudos to you if you're the one.

Why the pic of big-wave riding mammals that don't have 2 legs and use surfboards? The answer my friend is irrelevant. It's just a cool picture.

You see, lots of things in life are irrelevant. Take my new Google AdSense ads that hopefully you see in the vertical skyscraper to your left. This morning, I logged online to check out the ads and see what they look like and noticed that three of them were for ice melter and one was for radiant heating. Hey Google, this may not be too relevant, but it's the middle of the friggin' summer, a nationwide heatwave no less! How about some ads that are a little more appropriate for the season - like perhaps a book ad, or a movie ad, or heck, I'd even take an ad for Dorney Park and Wild Water Kingdom!

You see, the whole reason why I'm doing the AdSense program is to perhaps make a couple bucks on the side from the huge amounts of web traffic that visit my blog. Google seems to want me to make absolutley nothing by putting adds up that have zero relevancy to anything this side of the Arctic Circle. Who in the world is gonna click on an ad for ice melter in the middle of the summer? Now I'm thinking, did these ads come up because of my last funny ha-ha post about the ice melter being mistaken for diamonds? If that's the case, then wow! Google, I'm impressed. You did a great job of matching words on my blog to words in your ads. How about a nice couple of ads for DIAMOND sellers instead! That would be a nice surprise. Ice melter, you gotta be kidding me!

You realize what this means, don't you? All my future posts will be dictated by the most popular ads I think Google is going to match to them, hence bringing more clicks and more cash into my pocket. From this point forward, I'm going to write about nothing but Caribbean Island vacations, frozen fruity rum drinks, and Electrolux type 'C' vacuum cleaner bags.

I shouldn't be surprised that relevancy has become irrelevant. Lots of things in this world are ridiculously immaterial nowadays. Like trying to buy a starter home in the Northeast, watching Brady Bunch reruns on Nickelodeon with your kids who think it's the greatest show ever, and working 9 to 5 at a job that you really, really can't stand.

So, go ahead Google, jump on the irrelevancy bandwagon. In fact we saved a spot for you right up front riding shotgun! (And I even forgot to mention that lovely 5th ad - the one for Google, believe it or not!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for any future ads of questionable or tasteless character placed here by Google. If they get really bad, I will discontinue the program, and instead turn this into a pay site to make up for any lost revenue.

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